Homework Solutions

It is always exciting to hear success stories, but none of them are really celebrated unless they follow major failures. In fact, the bigger the failure, the more celebration occurs with the following success. Such is the case of two young men. Today I will tell you about Zachary. He was in his second semester of his freshman year when I met him. He was failing English and was not being consistent with his homework. In middle school, he could easily pass tests just by being present in the classroom. But high school was a different story. He wasn't turning in his homework and was benched from the football team until his grades improves. With coaching he learned how to talk to this teachers and learned techniques to motivate himself to get his homework done in a timely fashion. He was able to apply these skills, but not with the regularity required to manage good grades. He was able to "squeak by" with just enough to be able to make the team. After football season, he lapsed into his old patterns. His mom took away his phone, made him come home and do homework and grounded him. This was fruitless. He ended the year with failing two classes. These classes had to be made up in the summer. This was not a pleasant experience. In fact, it was painful. The pain became his will motivation. I received a text from him today stating that he ended this year with a 3.2 grade point average and a C+ in English. This was huge news. I had to know what caused the change that occurred for him to be able to accomplish such a feat. His voice sounded different, more confident and self-assured. He shared that during the first semester of his sophomore year, he found his grades slipping. "I don't know what happened, but I decided that I didn't just want to get by and "squeak" by with a 2.0. I wanted to do better. I used to go into tests thinking, "Well, if I don't do well, I can always take it again." But then I ended up with a lower GPA. This time I decided I would work harder to get a better grade the first time and not take the chance of having to do the class twice; once during school and once in the summer. The summer was such a horrible experience that I thought it would be easier putting in more time during school, so I could have my summer free." By the end of our conversation he realized that the pain and suffering of summer was the motivation that got him the 3.2. He expressed how proud he was of himself and that he wants to do even better than this year in his junior year. The failure he experienced was so powerful that it resulted in positive growth and change. He has a new found confidence that only failure could have brought him. His story is one other boys will benefit from. We can tell them what they need to do, but in the end, failing and then succeeding is often the more valuable way to learn.

Visit my website at www.homeworkdoc.com for more information

      How do children learn to challenge themselves and take reasonable risks?  Spending time with a two and a half year old can be very enlightening in this area.  Watching my granddaughter interacting with her environment  and partaking in creative play is a real education. One thing that has struck as interesting is how children deal with new experiences, and how different adults react when children are presented with new experiences that they might not be sure about.  Some children dive in and don’t anticipate anything but success, while others might hesitate and fear failure. My granddaughter approaches new experiences, with the same reaction every time, “This is hard.  I need help.”  She has many adults in her life and each of us deals differently with her.  The other day her uncle was helping her make chocolate cookies and when they were putting the dollops on the cookie sheet, I overheard her say, “This is hard.”  Her Uncle responded, “You can do it.”  She responded, “It is hard.  I need help.” He then stated, “You can do it, do you want me to help?”  He quickly took over and scooped the mix for her.  He sent her the wrong message.  His belief that she could do it was undermined when he took over the spoon.  Had he given her more tries and more verbal instruction on how to load the spoon, she would have seen that she could do it. She eventually tried it herself and was able to do it, but his hands continued to reshape and try to make it perfect. She could see this. If he had allowed her to put less than the perfect amount, she would have discovered that too small a dollop would result in a burnt cookie. Life is about how you survive burnt cookies.

   What could he have done differently that would have helped her face challenges with confidence and no fear of failure?  Well, when we think about what most people fear, the answer becomes very clear.  Fear usually stems from the unknown.  If she had done the dollops before and experimented with how to make them big enough, she would not have hesitated.  I am sure she will be confident next time, but the message he sent, will still be with her.  It would have been more effective to sa, “You think this is hard, because you have never done it before.  It is new for you. And because it is new it will feel hard at first, but it doesn't mean you need help.  You just need to keep practicing.  If you dig deep into the dough, you can get enough on the spoon and then you can scoop in onto the pan.”  Helping children recognize that something is hard every time you try it for the first time and becomes easier after you practice it, will encourage them to take a risk and challenge themselves the next time they face something new. 

     Perfectionism is learned.  It starts with the messages sent by the adults who are not willing to have irregularly shaped cookies.  Perfectly shaped cookies and irregular cookies taste the same, but to a child,  the one that the child makes without  any help is the sweetest.   

  The Benefits of Self-Empowerment Training are Everlasting 

   It may take many years to really know just how much of an impact self-advocacy training actually can have for students.  With 37 years in the field, it is very rewarding to hear from students who shared what they remember of their experience in a classroom that they were in for just ten months.  Facebook has been amazing.  I know there is controversy around this form of communication, but for me it has connected me with students I had my first year of teaching, and for that I am grateful.  They are grown adults with families of their own and some are grandparents. Ouch, that hurts!!  My first thought when they make contact is, "I can't believe you remember me."  Funny enough, their first comment is, "I don't know if you remember me, but I had you as my fifth grade teacher."  Each one of these former students were special in their own way, and I remember each one of them.  I actually had hoped that my first born would have some of the characteristics of many of my students, so when I was picking names, I chose from the list of those very students.  I have asked them what they remember most about our year together.  I expected them to remember the mythology unit or our trip to City Hall, but collectively they did not remember a bit of the academic "stuff."  What each recanted was their memory of how they felt.  They felt empowered by having overcome something that they had not believed they could achieve.  Each one remembered overcoming something different, but the underlying theme of their memories was the same, becoming empowered to overcome a fear.  They have also shared that the initial experiences with overcoming fears helped them face future fears and challenges with a newfound confidence.