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New Years is the time that most people make resolutions. By the first of February, if not sooner, those resolutions are forgotten. There are a few reasons why this happens. Understanding how to frame resolutions and create an environment in which they can be realized is very important for students to understand.
The first reason resolutions are broken is due to the fact that most people are not adept at making resolutions and seeing them come to fruition. After all, if they are only made once a year, how effective can one become at mastering the skill. If a basketball player only practice the first month of each year, he/she would never have a hope of making a national team. If we begin the year 2010 by resolving to make daily resolutions, we will show our children that making mistakes are a valuable part of living, and learning from them will make their lives so much better. Set aside time each night with your children to have them think about one thing they are proud of that they did that day and one thing they would like to work on the next day. Help them visualize the new behavior just before they go to bed, and have them tell you the next day what they are going to do to make it a better day.
The second reason for failure is that people are not always clear about what they need to change in order to fulfill their resolution. If the reason a student has forgotten his work, he needs to be clear as to why he is forgetting it. Does he not put it in his book bag? Does he forget to take the book home? Being clear about what is getting in the way of success is the first step to assuring one’s self that the resolution that is made will actually come about.
The third reason that resolutions fail is that they are framed ineffectively. The brain does not process the word “not” the way we would commonly think. It literally negates the word. So we might say, “I will not eat junk food,” and it processes, “I will eat junk food.” A student might say, “I will not forget my homework,” and it processes, “I will forget my homework.” To avoid this confusion, we simply need to reframe our resolutions omitting the negative words and attaching a positive feeling to the new behavior. Resolutions will be more effective if they are stated in terms of observable desirable behaviors. For instance, “I will not eat junk food,” can be replaced with, “I will make a menu of meals for the week every Saturday morning. After I eat my breakfast, I will shop for the needed groceries. I will prepare all my meals on the weekend and pack them individually. I will leave a note on the door to the garage to remind myself to take my lunch. I will visualize myself taking my lunch to work and see myself enjoying the taste of healthy food. Before I go to bed each night, I will remind myself how much better I feel, now that I am eating so much healthier.” The student’s new resolutions might look something like the following: “I will make sure that I record my homework as soon as the teacher assigns it. I will look at my homework carefully to be sure I know how to do all parts of it. If there is something I am unsure about, I will tell the teacher. I will bring home everything I need to do the homework. Before I leave school, I will decide where and when I will do the work. When I get home, I will only work on one paper at a time. When I am finished with the paper, I will put it in my book bag and place the book bag by the door that I will leave from to go to school. I will turn the work into the homework basket, as soon as I get to class. I will put a reminder on my bathroom mirror of the steps I will follow. I will feel so proud. I like the feeling of being organized.”
The fourth reason, goals are not achieved is that the final step is often omitted. That step is “Visualization.” The brain learns from not only what we do, but also from what we think. If children and adults can see themselves accomplishing the tasks they have prescribed, they have a more realistic chance of realizing a change. “Rehearsing the desired behavior changes makes all things possible.”
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